Good Morning

I am feeling much better this morning, the pain in my shoulder is going and the breathlessness has not as bad as it was.I was so frightened that I was on the downard path and am not ready to leave my children and life behind.
I am still feeling a little tired but will try and rest as much as possible before Wednesday as I am due back to work.
I am meeting some friends this morning and having lunch with my daughter, Siobhan so it should be a nice easy day.
I am going to call the hospital again about sending my records over to Germany. The next Mistletoe jab is due tomorrow and I will see what Dr Maria thinks about what has happened in the last week.
I really hope the Mistletoe has helped to kick the chest infection into shape as apart from being tired, I feel so well in myself

A Message to Theo

Come on Theo.......what has happened to us? I thought we were pals!!I will be taking you on a trip to Germany soon if you don't stop bothering me....your choice boy!

Not good news

I went to the out of hours Dr's surgery this morning and explained to the Dr about the pain and tightness I was experiencing.
She listened in and told me that it was not the Asthma as there was no wheeze and it was probably the tumour that had grown.
I feel so let down as I was hoping the Mistletoe would just keep it contained and it wouldn't grow for a while. It seem that Theo is determined to take over and our deal is off.
I am going to contact my oncologist on Monday and get him to send the last report of my illness to Dr Vogl in Germany asap.
I have not heard from Dr Callebout and I must admit, I did think I would hear from him by now as it is important to get things started.
I am very worried now as I do not want to die, This illness is such a cruel, unfair one.
No hope, no cure, no future.
Why has the UK not caught up with Europe and give hope for people with this awful cancer?
I am so angry and am not prepared to take it lyng down because if I do, I may not get back up again.

Can't Sleep

It is 3.00am in the morning(feel like I am going to burst into song.... : ) and I have just taken some more pain killers as the pain in my shoulder is quite bad.
It reminds me of the pains I had when I first started the symptoms back in 1994.
I think my Asthma has kicked in and at the advice and fear of my great friend, Julie, I will not be going to work but I will be making an appointment at the emergency surgery this morning.

I am hoping they don't say that I have to go into hospital as I don't want to do that. If I can get rid of this pain in my shoulder, it will be easier to live with. I am also going to contact my McMillan nurse next week and see if there is any support I can have with sorting out the house and the family as I am sure I am doing too much.
Dr Callebout would be tearing his hair out if he could see me now. He thinks I should be relaxing and leaving any stressful activities to someone else, he told me to delegate....who to?

I like going to work and don't like taking time off.
Sometimes I will have to but the only reason I am doing it is because of the pain and the breathlessness.
The inhalers are not touching the asthma so I may need some steroids to kick it into touch.
Poor Theo (my tumour) has been getting the grief for it and I don't think it is him who is playing up!
It feels like the pain killers are starting to work as I am feeling tired and the pain has diminished to what it was. Yesterday morning I took them and scared myself by dropping off to sleep and letting out a huge snore! I looked around but there was no one else to blame as I was on my own!!
Well....I am off to sleep now and will add more tomorrow

Not feeling well

I have not been feeling well today, I have had a pain in my back and have been feeling a little breathless. I did think about staying home but changed my mind as I am so afraid of resting and not recovering from this. I don't feel unwell in myself but the pain is what is getting me down.I rang the German clinic today as I am seriously thinking about Chemo Embolization. I have to ask my oncologist to send the latest report by fax and I will get a call from Dr Vogel.I have heard thet there is a very good success rate with Chemo Embolization.

Thanks Theo

Theo (my tumour) has been doing very well. He hasn't been playing up at all....he may even keep his job!Work has been good and my friends and team players make it all worth while.One more day to go and then I have 3 days off.I will get my blood test done on Tuesday and send off the urine and blood sample to the Dorset lab.
I am sill seriously thinking about Chemoembolization and will look into it more when I am off work next week. The link below gives more information about the procedure.

http://www.radiologyinfo.org/en/info.cfm?pg=chemoembol&bhcp=1

Well done Dawn!

Congratulations Dawn
Well done Dawn who's tumour has shrunk a little. I hope it keeps shrinking and she responds well to her treatment.
She has her own Website: http://www.wigstowishes.org.uk/ Dawn was featured on the channel 4 programme "The Mummy Diaries" which was a wonderful series. It followed 5 women, all with terminal illness, unfortunatley, 3 ladies passed away, 1 was given the all clear and that left Dawn.
Dawn is having Chemoembolization for liver cancer, the Chemo is injected straight into the tumour in the liver. This doesn't affect any of the cells in the body. The treatment is done in Germany and Dr Callebout did mention Professor Vogl and said that I should think about it.
This is something I am seriously thinking of doing. Dawn has given me all the contact information and the places to stay and airports to use. She has been so helpful.
Good luck Dawn, I hope it keeps responding.

Dr Etienne Callebout

On Friday Siobhan and I made our way to Harley Street and Met Dr Callebout, he was late and apparently this is normal. We were met by the Dr who showed us into his room and directed us to some chairs. He asked me to talk about the illness and when I first recalled having the symptoms. I told him it was 1994 when the scarring showed up on the lungs and 1996 when I was hospitalised for a suspected blood clot on the lungs which turned out to be the fluid again. I was offered a CT scan but this wasn't done as I was pregnant with my third child, Kieran. I consider that at this point, this saved my life as I would have had the scan and the Meso would have been detected and I would probably have had chemotherapy and may not have been here today.
I told Dr Callebout that I asked for an x-ray in 2006 as I fitted the criteria for Meso and I had just lost my dad who had worked with Asbestos.

Dr Callebout took a small amount of blood from my finger and analysed it under a microscope, I could see the cells on the screen with some little wriggly ones in between. He asked what I had for breakfast, not sure why, maybe the sugar from the cereal bar. Another thing mentioned was taking iron supplements. I am going to stop my immune defence tablets as they contain iron.I went to another clinic around the corner to get the blood test done and when Dr Callebout has the results he will be in touch with a regime. He also mentioned a Dr in Germany who was having great success with Mesothelioma, Professor Thomas Vogl. This is something I am going to follow up as there has to be something more than the procedures offered in this country.

Another thing is the T.V, it needs to be switched off between 7-8pm, to my surprise, my autistic son has taken this rule and enforced it. Well done Kieran.
After seeing Dr Callebout, I met up with my cousin, Justine, who I haven't seen for a while. It was good to see her. I will wait and see what the blood test shows up and hopefully get an insight into what I need to do to amend the cancer.